My weight today was 202!! Yeah, sounds great, but I'm sure that weight is going to come right back on when I start eating normally again. I haven't had much of appetite with my current rodents in the garage situation going on, and I can't seem to get the images of rodents coming after in me out of my head, so I've been too stressed to eat much this week. Also, I didn't walk nearly as much as I needed to in the past week. My goal for the next week is to get back on track with walking around the track down the street.

I don't know why I'm so scared of these mice. We always had cats growing up who would leave us "presents" at our door after a night of hunting. It was my job from the time I was about 7 years old to clean up the "presents" and bury them in the backyard. I've seen lots and lots of dead mice, mostly with their heads bitten off and it nevered bothered me as a kid! I don't know why these things are causing me so much anxiety now, but good thing I have a cat! I swear he's so funny, he follows me around the house, and it's like he checks everything out for me to make sure it's safe! He's finally coming in handy!

Good news and bad news....

The good news is Mother's Day came early and I got new furniture today. Yippee! I am so excited to get my set delivered! I really wanted a table from Crate & Barrel, but I had to let go of that idea when I saw the final price for a table and 6 chairs. Maybe someday, right? All of my chairs that I bought with my old table broke, so I was getting tired of having nowhere to sit, plus I wanted a table that more than 2-4 people could eat at. Now I can seat 10 (with extentions)! Too bad my friends moved away :( Yeah, I know a kitchen table should not really be considered a Mother's Day gift, but I've been eyeballing this table for 4 years now.

The bad news is I weigh 206. I don't think I'm going to make my May 1st 205 lbs goal. I'm pretty sure this has to do with the fact I ate mac and cheese for 3 days straight, and don't forget the MILE HIGH PIE from Applebees....why self, why??!!

Blah....

I still weigh 207....maybe due to the cheeseburger and fries I ate a few days ago. Oh well, today I don't really care about my weight.

I am so ready to not be a single parent anymore.

Last weekend I went to Target and bought a few items that fit into one bag. I took my reciept and walked out of the store without my one bag. I got home and walked around my house for a half an hour scratching my head and wondering where I put the Target bag.

This pretty much sums up my life these days.

Wooo Hooo!

I stepped on the scale today and I saw.......207! I haven't seen that number in a long time!


I'm not sure if this number is going to stay on the scale considering I just made a box of Annie's Macaroni and Cheese and ate the whole box. Not good, really not good. However, speaking of Annie's, I highly recommend that you try it! It's all natural (or so the box says) and no chemicals. Of course, anything made from a box isn't going to be completely healthy, but in my mind I like to think it is. I've been eating Annie's since I was a teenager and I think it tastes way better than Kraft. It was the first "meal" I made for Mike and he loves it too. Back in the day, you could only buy it at Whole Foods, but now I buy it at Walmart. Oh yeah, and the other snacks they have are muy delicioso.

It's Wednesday already???!!

Well, my current weight is 209, so only 1 pound weight loss this week :( Can I say I am soooo proud of Lesli for losing over 2 pounds!!! Way to go Lesli!

I did stick to my goal of no soda and only one mocha frappe from Starbucks. I'm amazed I've only drank water for this long. I did not think I had that willpower in me. However, I did slack off this week and eat pasta for dinner at least 3 times. It was a tad bit healthier since I eat multi grain pasta now, but I need to get back to eating baked chicken with a veggie for my dinners this week.

Here are some scary pictures for my friends to see of me (aka big mama at 267) that have never been seen before....by ANYONE haha. This is me on day 2 of 3...of the longest days of my life. I'm sure I said something really mean to my husband after he took this picture! No food, no sleep, blood draws every 4-6 hours, BP machine going off every 15 minutes, contractions with no progress = NOT HAPPY

Here is the first time I held Thomas. I barely remember this, because my nurse had given me a demerol/phenergan shot as soon as I got into recovery. All I wanted to do was sleep!! I don't think I held him until 1 1/2 hours after he was born :(

Here is me about a month ago...maybe at about 215-217. Too bad Thomas looks super pissed in this picture LOL. That's all for now.....Thomas is calling my name...

Ok.....

... I'm not sure if I really want to post all this information on here, but I'm going to do it for you Lesli! lol. Plus, I guess it makes it harder to cheat when you put information all out in the open like this. I'm calling this fit by fall, because my ultimate goal is to lose 40 pounds before Mike gets back next December. Good thing you (Lesli and Haley) are probably the only ones going to read this.....

This is me sometime prior to nursing school, where over the course of the year, my study buddies and I drank venti mocha frappes every day. I gained 20 pounds over the year. I probably weighed close to 175. I really don't even remember when I weighed in the 170's, but my military ID used to say 170. I'm not sure if I lied about this or not when I first got it. I lost my ID last week and I had to go get a new one. Well, the lady asked me if I still weighed 170. I just laughed. I still lied though, and said I weighed 205!! haha!

I cant figure out right now how to get my pictures to show up the way I want them to, so I will have to add more later. To cut to the chase, I weighed 197 at first OB appointment. At my last OB appointment I weighed 267. I weigh 210 right now (according to my scale). My short term goal is to be down to 205 by May 1st. This means:

1. No soda. I am allowed 1 tall mocha lite frappe with no whip x1 per week. I have not bought soda at the grocery store since the beginning of February and the last time I had a soda was a month ago while out to eat, so I'm doing pretty good so far. However, I am still fighting the limeade cravings every time I drive by sonic.

2. No junk food. I found with soda, once I got over the "addiction" to junk food, I started craving healthy food! Lets hope it stays that way. I still get the occasional cravings though, it's hard, but it helps when the only food in my house is an apple or a yogurt lol.

3. Fitness walking with Thomas 5-6 times a week. I know I should do more cardio, but hey Thomas enjoys our walks. He likes to stretch his feet out in the stroller and let the wind blow through his toes (um... yeah I've become the mom that never puts shoes or socks on her baby).

That's it for now...I will add more later.....

It's too sad....

I need to be thinking about weight loss goals, but right now there is something else on my mind. I occasionally read the news online about my hometown area. Yesterday I went on the website to find a story about an 11-year-old boy who committed suicide. He hung himself with an electrical cord in his home. His mother found him. He left a note and apparently he had been getting bullied incessantly at school. Usually, they don't cover stories like these in the newspaper back home to give the family privacy, but I think his mother wants to bring attention to the school and the bullying, because she had tried to stop it, but the school did nothing. I saw a picture of him. He was a beautiful boy who died too young.

I cant even imagine what that mother is going through. My sister is only 11 years old. She still plays with dolls! He must have been going through so much pain to even think of suicide in his head. Parents need to teach their kids respect for others and if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all! Sadly, bullies usually learn their behavior from watching their own parents. I can only hope that I will be a good role model to Thomas. It hurts to think that one day he might be the one getting bullied. I just want to protect him from all the hurt in this world.

Ok it feels better to let that out.....weight loss goals soon to come....